Sunday, January 1, 2012

A New Year to be Happy? (Amy talks to herself.)

How lame, right? 

I am happy?
Why wouldn't I be.  I have an amazing, handsome son, a wonderful husband, a loving family and a job.  My life perfect? Hell no! But am I doing well? Sure.

So why am I fat and blogging about being fat?
I have always been varied degrees of fat and I blog so I will have to be accountable. Or so the theory goes. 

How have I been doing so far?  
Hmm. I give myself a B-.  I have lost 5 lbs since I started this blog.  Wow, Amy!!  Haha.  I also had a stomach flu and haven't been feeling up to par, so I would say that most of that weight is water related and could come back if I don't behave.  And I didn't behave today.  But it is the holidays, right?

That excuse won't work if I am going to lose 90 lbs this year, and I know it.

So 2012, how am I going to stick it out and do the job that is in front of me?

Get thee to the gym, I say!  Plus: perhaps a 6 day juice fast, planning weekly healthy meals on a schedule and packing lunch the night before, eating breakfast and limiting dinners out, by not cutting out things I want completely (I know that is just setting myself up to fail by claiming "NO CAKE!" and I won't win that way), by getting outside at work for lunch walks and out on the weekends, and accepting the support of those around me.

Did you check out any gyms?

Yes.  Yes, I did.  But only one.  I give myself one more week to pick a gym.

What did you think of the gym you went to?

I checked out Koko Fit Club on 1st and Oracle in Oro Valley.  It was an interesting/expensive concept.

Here is the deal.  You know, I lost 60 lbs once.  Some of you know that... and I did it with dedication and a PERSONAL TRAINER.  Koko Fit Club is kind of like an affordable personal trainer meets Curves meets the Jetsons.

So I loved how I felt after only a half session, I could feel that it did work, but mind you, I have not moved my body consistently since I started this new job of mine.  So I imagine anything would wake those muscles of mine up.  But it did intrigue me.  The BIG question is, is it worth $69 a month.  Hmmm.  I don't have that budgeted.  But I may have to.  I think it will force me to lift weights again, and I know that is the only way I am going to see the kind of results I am looking for.  I need to make sure I don't hurt myself and injure my back like I did 9 years ago.  So the jury is still out.  I would like to find a more affordable way to do this.  But I liked Koko Fit Club in theory.

Do you want to hear the funny story that goes with this?  Many of you imagined people, reading this, already know the story. But, for those of you who don't, it is kinda funny in a, WOW Amy, that is so embarrassing, way. It is the story of how I started with a Personal Trainer and how I am glad I did.

I was in my early twenties and I had moved into an apartment with a cool girl I met at the Worcester Art Museum ( She knows who she is.)  She went to the gym and invited me to check it out.  I thought, what the hell, I need to do something.  So I went and checked out Gold's Gym with her.  I was scared.  I had never set foot in a gym before, and I was huge and uncomfortable in my own skin.  I walked in there and I thought everyone was judging me and watching me.  I was super paranoid.  But I survived and decided to join.

So, I went back, alone for the first time.  I put my stuff in a locker, locked it, and went out on the floor to get to it.  I hated it.  I felt so out of place and unwanted.  It was overwhelming, but I stuck it out.  Then, I went to get my stuff and get the hell out of there.  I went to the locker and unlocked it, and, all my things were gone.  No keys, no wallet, no money, no clothes, nothing, and I nearly broke down in tears that moment.   I took deep breaths, looked above the locker, and below.  Nothing.  So, I pulled it together and took the long walk to the front desk.  The whole way, I wondered, which of these b*tches were playing the cruel joke on me.  Why did they target me?

I got the desk and with held back tears, told the story.  The manager asked me to take him to the locker room and show him. I had to make sure none of the other girls were in there first.   Once declared girl free he entered, and I reenacted opening the locker, which still had my lock on it.

He then opened the locker to the direct right of the my locked one. And low and behold, there were all my things, safe and sound and ready for me.

Man, oh man oh man.  I was never going back to that gym again.  I didn't care if I did have a contract.  I thanked him and he said, it was no problem, and I thanked him again with flaming red cheeks.

On my way out, he called me over.  I wanted to run away, but I approached with laugh, and my head down.  He said, he wanted me to meet the staff.   The manager empathized with me.  He introduced me to the whole staff behind the counter and said, perhaps I would feel better If I knew who they all were and had people to say hello to while I was there.  He said most people who were new to the gym felt the way I did.  He also mentioned that the gym offered free personal training for 3 sessions and he wanted to get me signed up, and he introduced me to Matt.  So, I did and I kept with Matt for a few months, and at the time, I could afford such a thing(bearly).

It was the best thing I ever did for myself.

I met Mike because of this story.  I felt good about myself for the first time, because of this life event.  And having lost 60lbs before, I know I can do this.   So, I wonder, is it worth it?  As Bj√∂rk says Possibly, Maybe.

Night to all and a very Happy 2012.